Maintaining Relationships Through Communication

Written and illustrated by Chelsea E., a BRITE intern from Oxnard College.

Building relationships is hard, and maintaining them is even harder. Whether romantic, platonic, or interpersonal, all relationships require one shared element to thrive: consistent communication.

We often hear that “communication is key,” but what we rarely hear is how to actually communicate in a healthy way. The word itself gets thrown around as advice, yet many of us are never taught what it looks like in practice. When the time comes to express ourselves, we freeze. Some of us shut down, some lash out in anger, and others avoid the issue entirely. Over time, this leads to misunderstandings, unnecessary conflict, and even the loss of relationships that matter deeply to us, which can take a serious toll on our mental health.

So how do we communicate in a way that protects and strengthens the relationships we care about?

There are many approaches, but here are three simple ways to practice expressing your feelings and needs with someone you feel safe with.

1. Use “I” statements.

   
   

   When expressing emotions, we often place blame on the other person rather than focusing on how we feel. Saying, “You make me crazy with the things you say” sounds accusatory and can immediately put someone on the defensive. Reframing it as, “I feel really frustrated when you say things like that” shifts the tone entirely. “I” statements create space for calmer, more constructive conversations and allow you to express yourself without sounding harsh.

   
   

2. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings and be mindful of polarizing language.

   
   

   As humans, we tend to use extreme language, especially during moments of frustration. While phrases like, “This food is to die for” are harmless in casual settings, similar exaggerations during conflict can escalate tension. Statements like, “You’re going to kill me here” may unintentionally intensify emotions. Recognizing how polarizing language can be and gently redirecting it helps prevent conflict. A response like, “I can tell you’re really frustrated,” acknowledges feelings while encouraging healthier expression.

   
   

3. Ask open-ended questions.

   
   

   Questions can be more effective than statements when addressing concerns. Instead of saying, “We never hang out anymore,” try asking, “We don’t spend as much time together as we used to. Can you tell me why?” Open-ended questions invite dialogue, reduce defensiveness, and give both people the opportunity to express themselves honestly without feeling judged.

Practicing these methods can ease conflict, invite vulnerability, and allow relationships to grow stronger and more mature. Our connections with others play a major role in our mental health, and learning how to communicate during difficult moments is essential to maintaining them. As someone who has struggled with communication and lost friendships because of it, I’ve learned that these small changes can make a big difference. With the right tools, maintaining relationships doesn’t have to feel so difficult.

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Sources:

Leonard, Victoria. Interpersonal Communication - College of the Canyons. Edited by Alexa Johnson and Trudi Radtke, 2nd ed., College of the Canyons, College of the Canyons. Accessed 24 Jan. 2026.